The power difference

Is power different for men than women? I believe it is.

I’ve long said that for men power is control over someone else and women have often been on the wrong side of that equation.

I’ve always believed that power to women is to empower others.

I came across an amazing quote from Lois Frankel and I have to share it with you as I think it’s wonderful insight into this question.

Lois writes:

“Whereas men often define being powerful as getting someone else to do what they want or having control over others, women tend to define it as getting to do what they want or having control over themselves.”

So here is the question to ponder this week:

What makes YOU feel powerful?  Having control over others or over yourself?

Modeling matters

We sat down in church this week and I was immediately fascinated with the baby two rows in front of us.
This beautiful little girl could not have been more than a week old.   Curling and uncurling her tiny fist. Eyes widen and then shut .  Head tilts to the right then the left.

All in the loving arms of her father.

He is totally at ease…cloth diaper thrown over his shoulder to burp her, rocking to sooth her.

And I notice four people who appeared to be the baby’s family…her Dad, uncle, grandfather and grandmother.

Ah ha…there is another child.  Another girl who appeared to be 18 months old.  Her grandfather holds her, speaks quietly in her ear and she smiles and hugs him.  She settles onto his lap for a snappy nap.

Now our minister can get going on his sermons and the service is a good hour and a half.

I couldn’t keep my eyes off these girls and more importantly how their father and grandfather loved with such ease.  No scolding, no scowls, no fuss, no muss.

And I wondered…where is their mother?  Is she still in the hospital?  At home catching a much needed few hours of sleep?

Yet the children were not restless.  They felt secure and loved.

I said a quiet prayer of thanks for these wonderful men who provided all of us a glimpse of men's deep abiding love for his daughters and granddaughters.

Nurturing  in action.

We read horrific stories each day about abuse and neglect and begin to wonder what will become of our children?  And yet just look around you each day and you’ll see the love and support our men give to our children each day. 

May all the girls in your life have the gift of unconditional love from a man in their life whether father,  uncle or grandfather.  Or a Big Brother.

A gift that will last a life time.

The Lexus Lesson

I hate buying cars.  I dislike walking onto a sales lot with my husband and the sales rep ignoring me and only talking to Jeff.

Ask most women and they will tell you the same story.

I dislike the whole dance on negotiating.  It’s so tedious. And buying on line?  Overwhelming.  So I wait as long as I can, take a deep breath and get through it.

So a few years back I needed to buy a car. 

And everyone told me a Lexus is best.  Why?

Because Toyota ‘s mission was build on quality.  No piece of junk that will fall apart right before the warranty runs out.  Plus fabulous customer service.

Sounded too good to be true.  So I bought one.  And it turns out it WAS too good to be true.

Because the demise of the company was that they lost their North Star.

The story is now discovered because customers demanded their voice to be heard.  Top leaders in Toyota left their quest for quality and instead focused on market share.  Selling more cars.  Scrimping on quality and putting our lives and our children’s lives at risk.

I’m outraged because I believed their promise and hence added to their profitability.  What can you learn from this troubled company?

• Set a noble mission that serves the greater good.
• Listen to your customers.
• Don’t settle for “good enough”.
• Measure your success beyond profit goals.
• Be true to your North Star.

Once again I have put off buying a new car.  And I have an old Lexus on my hands.

This time I plan to do real research not only on the car but the leadership of the company who makes that car. I’ll be reading annual reports and listening to analyst meetings.  And I’ll be watching if their “lips match their hips.”  And watching to see if their employees on the line and in the show room walk their talk.

It’s not a car to me anymore. 

It’s my commitment to support a company whose mission is greater than market share but for the greater good.  And if you know of a car company that fits that bill I’d love to hear from you.